Run, Don't Walk

I’m having a hard time believing that Grindhouse is flopping at the box office. If you’ve seen the trailer, you know what you’re in for and I’m amazed that every guy between 14 and 40 hasn’t rushed out to see this. I figured the hot chick with the machine gun leg would’ve been enough to get bums in seats, but surprisingly it isn’t. I finally saw this double bill on Saturday afternoon and loved it. Its three hours and twenty minutes of movie for the price of a regular movie, people. Two features plus trailers in the middle and its entertaining like you wouldn’t believe. Or, maybe you would.

It’s supposed to recreate the Grindhouse experience of the 70’s that, like, 6 people experienced. The rest of us can now pretend we know what Quentin Tarantino and Robert Rodriguez are talking about by sitting and enjoying their tribute to their childhoods which, we’ve been told, were spent in the dark watching shitty movies.

The first film, Robert Rodriguez’ “Planet Terror” seems to be adhere to the rules of this filmic exercise (assuming I know the rules having never been in or near a Grindhouse) more closely than the second. Rose McGowan and Freddie Rodriguez star in what basically boils (you will see pustules erupting) down to a zombie flick. The digital effects include scratches and jumps in the film to make it seem like it was made in 1974, although it seemingly takes place in the present as some of the characters spend time texting each other.

While this movie is violent and gross, the special effects are so intentionally cheese-y that most of it ends up humorous as opposed to stomach churning (although it has its hurl-worthy moments). Also, we get to see Fergie (billed as Stacy Ferguson) get ripped apart which may be pure entertainment for some of you. Plus, Marley Shelton gives a “Who Knew?” kinda performance that I found hilarious.

Between the two “features” are some hilarious trailers made by friends and peers of the directors. The one for “Don’t” is side-splitting and another for “Thanksgiving” apes the Dead Teenager Movies of my youth so well, I almost want to rent it from Video Stop with Colleen and watch it in her basement Rec Room.

Quentin’s offering is too good a film to be an authentic (again with the assuming) shitty movie. In his “Death Proof” Kurt Russell plays Stuntman Mike a 1970’s throwback who gets off on killing pretty girls with his car which is tricked out for stunts, hence the name. This one has two sets of young women being stalked and terrorized and both sets spend a lot of time talking.

I loved listening to the young actors speaking the dialogue and enjoyed the hell out of the car chase scenes. Interestingly, with the two sets of girls terrorized in the film, it seemed as if one was supposed to take place in the past and one in the present. Because of the texting that takes place in the first portion, I was unsure of when this was supposed to be happening, but this doesn’t really take away from the film. The end was thrilling (folks in my theatre burst into spontaneous applause) and I was exhilarated throughout both films.

For another take on why this movie flopped, check out crowbar burden’s post here.