I’ve recently noticed that Women Celebrities have suddenly all started to look like they’re 35 years old. Okay, well maybe this one and this one don't but most of the rest of them look 35.

Let's look at the evidence, shall we?

16 is the new 35.

First of all, she’s supposed to be 16 years old. They say she’s born September 28, 1987. Um….Ok. In her unsettling video for “Come Clean,” young Ms. Duff appears to be a little too sophisticated for the room. At one point she’s laying on her side in a roomful of candles. From her vantage spot on the floor, Hilary smirks at the camera and sings, “I’m coming.” Is this really how 16 year-old girls spend their time? Later, as she sings from what might just be a shack, she appears soaking wet - except for the entire MAC Counter that’s been dumped on her face and has managed to not budge. Who doesn’t want to see a real-life take on this? When she sings, “Let it wash away my sanity” why not have little Hilary bug-eyed in a white padded cell as she shrieks uncontrollably and flings her feces at the walls?

Also, in Canada, Hilary Duff’s Stuff can be bought at a K-Mart-like store called Zeller’s. In the television spots for this tween must-have line, Ms. Duff is in a teen bedroom with a group of herself. When one Hilary falls off the side of the bed, she reappears as a pre-teen vaguely ethnic girl. Also, another of the Duff clones transforms into another non-white little girl. This is disturbing on a couple of levels. The cloned HD’s are just creepy. Imagine a future where the only female children born are Hilary Duffs. Also, the idea that her “Stuff” is being marketed to little non-white girls seems like a mean attempt by The Man to make ethnic girls feel bad for not being mid-thirties-looking, white, teen popstar/actor/model/designers.


I’ve recently seen this 43 year old on TV talking about how she doesn’t believe in plastic surgery and how she’d never have it. I guess Botox doesn’t count because how else do you explain the fact that she only has two facial expressions: the one where she she doesn’t?

I know, we all love Julianne because she’s been so good in so many films but come on, she looks the same age as her. Plus, if I have to see that Loreal commercial one more time… She doesn’t so much use her mouth for speaking as much as sound comes out her mouth while her lips slide tightly across her skull.

Well, that's it for today but if you have any smart-ass comments, mash notes, or hate mail, feel free to email them to me at myluckytigerbelt@yahoo.ca