Teenage Kicks
part two

In honor of one of the music magazine’s 40 Worst Lyricists of All Time, I thought I’d give My Lucky Tiger Belt’s 5 Best Lyricist’s of All Time (actually the last 40 years or so). I’m not sure what criteria they used, but I just used my Poet’s Heart. You will notice that there are no Hip Hop artists on my list. I’m an old rocker with no use for that stuff, but as far as lyricists go, they probably all knock my lil’ list out of the park.

Courtney Love
There are many reasons to hate the Widow Cobain, but there are many more reasons to love her. Perhaps, it’s dated but when Courtney is in a cute dress with one leg up on the monitor, and rocking out, she just fucking rules.
Also, thematically, she has some great interests. Water shows up in her lyrics again and again. As does the idea of faded beauty, scars, bruises and other bodily woes. And nobody sings about being a bad Mommy better. The following is from “Plump” on “Live Through This.”

He shakes his death rattle.
Spittle on his bib.
I don't do the dishes, I throw then in the crib.
I've eaten you, I'm overfed.
Your milk's in my mouth, it make me fear.

I've stumbled here. Failed to make it mine.
They say I'm plump. But I threw up all the time.
I've eaten you, I'm overfed.
Your milk's in my mouth, it makes me fear.

Morrisey
Without Morrisey and The Smiths, I wouldn’t have had a soundtrack to my teenaged drama. Both hilarious and sad, The Smiths made a dumb fat kid feel cooler and smarter than everyone in the room. Name-checking poets, writers and ideas and concepts that I didn’t even get until many years later, The Smiths are still relevant. Buy The Queen Is Dead for your favourite snarky teen. They’ll thank you for it. The following is from the best break-up song, like, ever, “I Know It’s Over” from “The Queen Is Dead.”

And I know it's over
And it never really began
But in my heart it was so real
And you even spoke to me and said:

"If you're so funny then why are you on your own tonight?
And if you are so clever then why are you on your own tonight?
If you're so terribly good looking then why do you sleep alone tonight?
Because tonight is just like any other night
That's why you're on your own tonight
With your triumphs and your charms
While they are in each other's arms..."

Tori Amos
I read somewhere that Tori’s songs weren’t just songs but “environments” and I guess I have to agree. She is loopy, ridiculous and bizarre but one of the best live artists I’ve ever seen. Her lyrics run the emotional gamut and a whole class could be devoted to deciphering her poetry. The following is a perfect example. She name-checks Neil Gaiman, sadly wonders where a pre-resurgence Patti Smith is and gets whistful for times past all in one crazy song that I think might be about either childhood’s ending or doing mushrooms (but I could be totally wrong).

Deck the halls I"m young again
I'm you again
Racing turtles
The grapefruit is winning
Seems I keep getting this story twisted
So where's Neil when you need him
Deck the halls it's you again
It's you again
Somewhere someone must know the ending
Is she still pissing in the river
Now heard she'd gone
Moved into a trailer park

Alkaline Trio
Because sometimes, songs about girls, booze, and self-destruction should be simple and awesome. These guys are funny and clever plus they have a song called “Donner Party (All Night).” Who hasn't felt like the following from “Another Innocent Girl” from “From Here to Infirmary.”

He likes to act like he's all grown up
He wanted to grow up to be an actor
But he never told anybody
He likes to spill all of his guts
On the top of a well stocked bar
And then swallow them bit by bit remembering every scar
As a valid reason for every drink
And a new tattoo is a new reason to think

The Strokes
I’ve added The Strokes because sometimes the lyrics should be garbled and misunderstood. Good rock can also be not that smart and uncomplicated. Taking a page from REM’s murmur, Julian Casablancas croons a bunch of words that, to my tin ear, sound jumbled and coarse. On further listens, the lyrics are clear and pretty simple. In other words, perfect for the music: a soundtrack for any trust-fund brat drunk in the Manhattan streets in a pair of Chucks and a beat-up blazer circa 2001. For example, take “Juicebox.”

Everybody sees me,
But it's not that easy,
Standing in the light field,S
tanding in the light field.
Waiting for some action,
Waiting for some action
Oh but why won't you come over here?
Why won't you come over here?
We've got a city to love.
Why won't you come over here?
We've got a city to love.


Also I just wanted to thank everyone for the continued support and wish all y'alls a Happy New Year. I will endeavour to post even more in '08.